My Lupus Story
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How will you feel if your doctor will tell you that you have SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus) and there’s no cure on it? In 2002, I was 19 years old, on my 2nd year college when I had hematoma on my legs and I easily get tired so I went to see a hematologist to find out what was it. |
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Letter from a Butterfly
Dear Dr. Navarra:
I wish to express my gratitude for the support and encouragement you have always given me as your patient, especially when i competed for and won the Happiest Pinoy award. |
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Written by Yasmin Lacson
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Wednesday, 13 January 2010 |
How would you live life knowing you have an autoimmune disease attacking you each day, as if there's a monster inside you?
Would you hate and blame God?
I am Yasmin Lacson, popularly called "yaz". From Bacolor, Pampanga. I am turning 24 this coming August. A simple lady with simple goals and dreams in life to fulfill. Happily living with my mother and three siblings,and serving the Lord.
I was in third year college of taking up B.S. Nursing when i started having joint pains, that was especially during the morning, the moment i open my eyes. It was really hard for me because i was far from my family, i was studing then in Bulacan so i had to stay there. My dorm mates would see me then crying and alone, trying to stand on my own. It was so painful.. still, i will stand and go to school. I ignored every pain i felt. I continued my studies.. Unless pain is intolerable, i would not take pain reliever.
I had my OJT in the hospital, taking care of different people and cases while i was in need of it too. Until every requirement were settled.. November 10,2007, i graduated Bachelor of Science in Nursing. A great blessing i received from the Lord. While i was waiting for the June 2008 Licencure Exam, i had my self-reviee at home at the same time, i had my sideline. I was hired as a private totor to six kids of different levels and schools.
On June 1-2, 2008 i took the Licensure exam.. On the last day, i and my cousin went home to Pampanga. I was having fever, cough and colds then. Until that lasted for a couple of weeks. I would usually take biogesic then together with water therapy. July came, it continued to be like that. Fever would arise at around 5-6pm associated with chills and weakness. July 23, 2008, the results of the exam came out. My name was not included on the list of the passers. Still i thanked God because i know that He has a wonderful plan for me..
One day, my best buddy was able to convince me to see a doctor. Fever, chills continued and i was starting to lose a lot of my weight. The doctor found out that my hemoglobin was going down so she gave me iron supplements. The fever-chills episode continued everyday. We sought another doctor, same findings but they canno't actually tell the reason why my "hemoglobin" was going down. I also started to loose appetite and my joints are in pain and are swelling. I had to hold on to something before i could stand and walk. It was so hard for me, my world seemed to stopped because i was always in the room staring at the four corners of it. God was my witness in every suffering i had. Prayers was my only "armor" then.
On the night of August 13, 2008, while i was having my dinner, i suddenly felt a strange feeling that i can't really explain. My whole body started to become itchy, and it was like that water is coming out of my body, but it really wasn't. Ha, really a strange feeling.. can't explain until now. i stopped eating and lay on my bed. I was praying all the time, suddenly chills started too. I had it for an hour. Mom was beside me, hugging and praying for me, till i fell asleep.
Around 11pm of the same day, i suddenly woke up and the only sound i could hear was the fast beating of my heart ("palpitation"). I called my mom who was still awake. I asked my brother to take my blood pressure but he could not get it. I was beginning to have difficulty of breathing, then i told my mom to bring me to the nearest hospital. Mom sought help from a relative and brought me to the hospital . At the E.R. a doctor attended to me, but because we don't have money, they could not admit me. Mom and the relative went to the other hospital and i was brought there. I stayed for maybe an hour and a half. question here and there.. My BP was only 80/60.. My IV fluid had to be fast drift because i was beginning to be dehydrated.,. At 12 midnight of August 14, 2008 i was brought to the room where i was assigned.
Then i started to vomit.. My BP started to fall, it was only 60/30 when the nurse checked it.. My mom and brother were with me at that time, they were so wooried.. They gave me medicines through IV, oxygen because i was having difficulty of breathing. I continued praying begging the Lord to help me. My attending physician came around 4am. i heard mom asked the doctor, "Paano na po ang anak ko?" The doctor answered "hindi ko po alam". Mom started to panic and cry.. i remained calm and continued praying. One nurse approached my mom and said "Nay, ang ipagpasalamat nyo po conscious ang anak nyo" sa ganyan pong BP comatose na ang pasyente, pero sya conscious". Then i saw mom calmed down.
Early in the morning, my attending physician called an infectious disease specialist. He advised that i must be transferred to the ICU because of my condition. I was so "toxic" (term use for those who are in the medical field when the patient's condition is getting bad) for the nurses and doctors handling me. I undergo lab tests and x-ray. I was brought to the ICU in the isolation room. I felt bad and sad because i was alone. I was crying and it was God that i could only talk too. All my vital signs were unstable,don't know what to feel. I was always waiting for the visitation hours then so i could see my mom and best buddy who were there with me all the time.. I would cry aloud "whenever they are going out when visitation is over. My prayer then to God was, "Your will be done in my life, if my time is over, i am ready, yet if you still have a plan and i still have a purpose, please extend my life". I was ready then anytime...
On my fifth day in the ICU, my vital signs became stable, i felt a bit good than the first few days in the hospital. My relatives and Brothers and Sisters in Christ were always there to see me and most especially to pray for me. I was then transferred to the recovery room and stayed there for six days. Our bill was more or less "70 thousand pesos" and we only had 200 pesos. But God proved that He is our "all Sufficient God". He provided for it and on August 23, 2008 i was discharged in the hospital. The next day, August 25, 2008, i celebrated my 23rd Birthday.. A blessing i really owe God alot.
I went home without a clear diagnosis from the doctor. I continued medicines at home,, (at talagang nagsawa na ako).. The doctor prescribed me steroids to take in for my joint pains.
For 2 months i was in complete bed rest, i was so ashamed of my physical looks then, so thin, nangitim, and my hair loss was so bad. I continued living but not the normal way. i was always inside the house, afraid of what people are saying. I also had a great fear because my vision was beginning to deteriorate. I cried to God day and night to restore my vision and health.
In the span of 2 months i felt no pain coz of the steroids. By october, i found a job. I was hired as a English teacher in a Learning Center. I was so happy and fulfilled then. Until, on November 2008, i felt the same as when i was brought to the hospital. My world seemed to collapsed then, crying to the Lord, to give me a chance. My prayer then was that "Lord, whatever is this please let my disease be ruled out".
I was referred to a doctor of the same faith (Born Again Christian). He handled me three times, on the third time, the malar rashes were already present. He advised me to go to St. Luke's Medical Center. At that time, i was with my best buddy "Ate Lai" who was with me all the time, in joy and even in pain.We rode a jeepney and tears just fell in our eyes.
I told my mom and sinlings about it. Then we decided to go to St. Luke's, God provided for every single need i had. I undergo Lupus panel tests..
December 15, 2008 at St. Luke's Medical Center, i was diagnosed to have Systemic Lupus Erythematosus.. A situation i never expected in my life. Yet i praise God because i have in my life, my family and friends who cares and loves me so much. Long before i was diagnosed i have been praying to God to give me the strength and courage to face it if ever i will be positive of it. When Dr. Lichauco told me that i have it, i was calmed and accepted that hurting truth in my life.
Since that day on i totally commited and surrendered my entire life to the Lord Jesus- the AUTHOR of my life. I live each day normally though i know that something abnormal is happening inside, enjoying every single blessing God is giving me. I became more closer to God and i have entrusted my life to Him.
Last April 30,2009, i had my regular check up and the doctor gave me a certificate that i could already work. Praise God!
At present i am working as a "full time servant of God in our church, a worship/song leader, youth leader, custodian.. A fruitful and productive citizen and servant of God..
Lupus or any other disease or disability are not an hindrance for us to continue life. Remember that GOD HAS A PURPOSE BEHIND EVERY EVENT, TRIAL, CHALLENGE, OBSTACLE AND EVEN A BLESSING.. SOMETIMES HE ALLOWS EVEN THE WORSEST TRIAL TO TEST OUR FAITH.. DON'T GIVE UP.. HE HEARS YOU, EVERY WORD YOU UTTER, HE FEELS YOUR PAIN AND SORROW AND EVERY TEAR THAT FALLS FROM YOU.. BELIEVE, HAVE FAITH, ONE DAY WE WILL ALL BE SET FREE FROM THIS DISEASE! WE WILL NOT FOREVER SUFFER.. PUT YOUR HOPE AND TRUST UNTO HIM ALONE! GOD LOVES YOU, UA ALL! (JOHN 3:16)
WITH GOD, WE WILL WIN THIS BATTLE, AND IN THE END WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS! GOD BLESS ALL WHO WILL READ THIS AND TO ALL THE LUPUS PATIENTS LIKE ME! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 13 January 2010 )
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